Responsum: On a Reluctant Bridegroom

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There was a certain man in our country who had become totally impoverished, and who had betrothed his elder daughter to her appropriate mate. During the period of her betrothal—the date fixed for the wedding still being a long way off—the father died and the daughter was left bereaved and solitary. She had neither a father nor a mother but merely relatives who acted like strangers toward her and deliberately ignored her, with the exception of one near kinsman, her mother’s brother, who took her into his home, as she had no relative closer than he. Now when the time for her wedding eventually arrived, when it was appropriate to slaughter animals and to prepare [see Genesis 43:16] the requirements of the wedding feast, she could see no trace of a dowry nor the other things she needed for her marriage. Rather, she simply heard a unanimous voice calling on her to immerse herself in the prenuptial ritual bath and to get ready for the wedding, as she would be receiving the dowry. And the aforesaid young woman did as the neighboring women commanded, and she listened to them; in addition, they placed a curtained litter around her on the Friday [on which her wedding was to be celebrated], in accordance with the custom in regard to bridal virgins. But as the evening shadows were lengthening and it was almost time for inaugurating the Sabbath, at the time when it was incumbent upon the relatives to hand over the dowry, they acted in a parsimonious manner and gave a lesser amount than that which they ought to have done, so that nearly a third of the expected dowry was lacking. Moreover, the bridegroom reneged and displayed no desire to marry her under any circumstances, nor did he pay attention to any of the words addressed to him by the leaders of the community imploring him not to put a daughter of Israel to shame on account of lacking dowry funds. He refused to listen; on the contrary, he clogged up his ears like a deaf poisonous snake, not hearing the sound of the snake-charmers; nor did the reproving voice of any wise man move him. In this manner time went by, taken up in feuds and quarrels, just as [our sages] asserted: “There is never a marriage contract where no strife is involved!” [b. Shabbat 130a]. The work of Satan succeeded until the time mentioned above arrived, when they reached agreement and the bridegroom was persuaded to enter beneath the bridal canopy. And so as not to put a worthy daughter of Israel to shame, I got up and arranged the nuptials at the aforesaid time. And since people are making complaints against me [that I desecrated the Sabbath], I now come to remove their complaints, to adduce proofs, duly armed with my reasoning and my arguments; and I will hereby explain the factors I relied upon in this case to enable me to declare: “In an instance of this kind, see to it that you proceed to effect the marriage!”¹