In my anguish, bitter to my taste

Jacob ben Meir (Rabbenu Tam)

Mid-12th Century

In my anguish, bitter to my taste, and in my wanderings and expulsions,

I mention Your name, O my King—and my soul rejoices in You.

My paths lead upward, my face turns toward heaven,

I lift up my bells to improve my tune,

and I place my praises before Him, as my gift.

My tears are my libation, when I ofer my fesh;

my bones are my frewood, and my heart is my pyre.

[God]’s acts of kindness and giving are great beyond number.

How can someone formed of dust approach His footstool,

especially if one has violated His covenant, and

overstepped the boundaries He stated?

And how can my knee remain strong and my head upright,

when His eyes see my deeds, and my own foot

stands as a trap for me?

O Holy One of Jacob, my sun, whose name is my garment,

whose kindness is my turban—who can be like me?¹

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why do you moan within me?

Hope in God, and seek, day and night,

to serve Him, bring Him fulfllment, for this is freedom and liberation.

Guide me and teach me in the ways that You desire,

and may I fnd beautiful grace in Your sight, and may You keep me alive.

And guide me with Your spirit, to do what is good in Your eyes.

May I forget my days of darkness, and the nights, when my Man² wanders.

And may I be satisfed in my booth [the Temple] with grain and wine.

Translated by Gabriel Wasserman.

1. [In other words, when I am wrapped in godliness, who can be like me?—Trans.]

2. [Probably a reference to God, the “husband” of the Jewish people, who is far from them during the night of e x i le.—Tr a ns.]

Published in: The Posen Library of Jewish Culture and Civilization, vol. 3: Encountering Christianity and Islam.

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