Responsum: On the Rebellious Wife

Question: Regarding what you asked: A woman who had been under her husband’s authority, and said to him, “Divorce me, I don’t want to live with you.” Is he obligated to give her any part of her ketubah? Is she considered a rebellious wife?

Answer: We saw fit to answer as follows: The letter of the law is that in principle we do not force the husband to divorce his wife if she has asked for a divorce, except for those [situations] in which our rabbis force him to divorce. When the woman refuses to engage in [marital] relations or to perform any of the work that she must do for him, she is a “rebellious wife” [see b. Ketubbot 63a–b]. In regard to her, we remove a bit of her ketubah every Sabbath [i.e., every week], and she must be warned. Afterward they [i.e., the sages] established by another ordinance that they proclaim [that she is a rebellious wife] four Sabbaths in a row and send her a message from the court: “Know that even if your ketubah is worth one hundred maneh, you will lose it all.” And they further stated regarding her: Rami the son of Aba says that the court sends her a message twice [once before the announcement and once after the announcement].

And regarding the properties for which her husband accepted responsibility and no longer exist, or what has [become] worn out or lost of her dowry and jewelry—which are classified as “inalienable assets” that the husband must pay their worth, since he is responsible for them, they would deduct seven dinars a week from what the husband owes. Ultimately, they decreed that they proclaim [that she is a rebellious wife] for four weeks and then she loses everything. And even so, they do not force the husband to write her a divorce.

If he dies, his heirs are absolved of her ketubah, since it was his obligation, but regarding items that are still extant and remain, including her jewelry, if she possesses it, they do not remove it from her, and if she does not possess it, they do not give it to her. They also decreed that a woman who demands a divorce must wait for twelve months, as maybe they will become reconciled, but if they do not reconcile after twelve months, they force the husband to give her a divorce.

And later, our masters, the savoraim [i.e., the late redactors of the Talmud]—when they saw that the daughters of Israel went and availed themselves of non-Jews [i.e., non-Jewish courts] in order to receive divorces by force from their husbands, and thus there were those who were forced to write a divorce, which would raise the concern that it might be considered “a divorce that has been given by force,” and it thus may or may not be legally effective, and could lead to devastating outcomes—they therefore ordained during the days of Mar R. Raba ben Mar Hunai regarding a wife who is rebellious and demands a divorce, that she must give up all of her “inalienable assets” that she brought into the marriage, even that which was destroyed or lost, which he was supposed to repay. And regarding what he wrote to her about his [financial obligations at the beginning of the marriage], he shall not pay her that which no longer exists, and regarding items that still exist as well, even if they are in her possession, we confiscate them from her and return them to her husband. We force him to write her a divorce without delay, and she receives the basic sum of a ketubah. This is the current practice, which has been the custom for more than three hundred years, and you should act likewise.