Mourning Rituals

7. [Mourners] do not rend [their clothes] or bare [their shoulders, and others] do not provide a meal [for them] except for the relatives of the dead. And they do not provide a meal except on an upright couch. They do not bring [food] to the house of mourning on an [ornamental] tray, platter, or flat basket, but in plain baskets. And they do not say the mourners’ blessing during the festival. But they may stand in a row and comfort [the mourners], and [the mourners] may formally dismiss the community.

8. They do not place the bier on the thruway [during the festival] so as not to encourage eulogizing. And the bier of women is never [set down on the thruway] for the sake of propriety. Women may raise a wail during the festival but not clap [their hands in grief]. R. Ishmael says: Those that are close to the bier clap [their hands in grief].

9. On Rosh Hodesh, on Hanukkah, and on Purim they may wail and clap [their hands in grief]. Neither on the former nor on the latter occasions may they offer a lamentation. After the dead has been buried, they neither wail nor clap [their hands in grief]. What is meant by wailing? When all wail in unison. What is meant by a lament? When one speaks and all respond after her, as it is said: And teach your daughters wailing and one another [each] lamentation (Jeremiah 9:19, NJPS). But as to the future, it says: He will destroy death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces (Isaiah 25:8).